Grey Divorce: Why Are More Couples Over 50 Calling It Quits?

Grey divorce, also known as late‑life or “silver split” divorce, refers to the dissolution of long‑term marriages by couples typically aged 50 and older who are entering a new phase of life. This phenomenon is becoming increasingly common: in the U.S., roughly one in three divorces now involves individuals over 50, according to CNN (2022). Compared to divorces earlier in life, grey divorces involve unique considerations – including long-accumulated assets, retirement savings and pensions, social security impacts, and changing family roles – and often follow decades spent together before entering a “new light” life stage.

How Common Is Grey Divorce?

In 2024 and 2025, grey divorce – divorce among individuals aged 50 and older – is a substantial and growing phenomenon in the U.S. According to Clio’s 2025 report: “the percentage of divorces involving adults 50 and older jumped from 8.7% in 1990 to 36% by 2019.” According to data from the Pew Research Center, divorce rates in the over-50 age group have doubled since the 1990s, and tripled among those over 65.

Why Are More Couples Over 50 Getting Divorces?

Many couples over age 50 are increasingly opting for divorce as they reassess long‑term marriages and enter new life phases:

• Growing Apart Over Time: People’s interests, values, and priorities change over time. Sometimes couples who started a relationship in early adulthood (in their 20s and 30s) grow together over the course of their marriage, and sometimes they grow apart.
• Empty Nest Syndrome: In most marriages, couples spend a significant portion of the marriage raising their kids. However, after children grow up and start living on their own, the parents may find themselves feeling lonely. For this reason, an empty nest contributes to many divorces among older couples because spouses may eventually grow apart due to the lack of shared goals and aspirations.
• Increased Financial Independence: When partners hold contrasting views on how to handle finances, such as spending, saving, or investment preferences, tensions often escalate into persistent arguments. Long-standing financial disagreements are strongly linked to a higher risk of divorce, irrespective of income or net worth. For couples who are financially independent, such as those later in life, having the means to support themselves can make separation more attainable.
• Desire for a New Beginning: As lifespans lengthen, individuals over 50 still have substantial decades ahead, making divorce a viable option even later in life. With adequate healthcare and longer horizons for personal growth and exploration, couples in their 50s and beyond often feel empowered to redefine their lives on their own terms.
• Changing Attitudes Towards Divorce: Changing societal norms have reduced stigma around divorce, and individuals increasingly prioritize well‑being and meaningful connection.
• Health and Longevity Considerations: Serious or chronic illnesses (e.g., heart disease, dementia) impose emotional and financial strain on marriages. Marital dissatisfaction often increases as caregiving responsibilities escalate. If one partner’s health declines significantly, it can become the tipping point for divorce.
• Specific Marital Issues: Research shows that marital satisfaction has declined for midlife couples over the past few decades. Marriages today often involve more conflict, less fairness, and fewer shared interactions than in previous generations. Lower marital quality strongly correlates with later-life divorce.

The Unique Challenges of Grey Divorce

Couples facing grey divorce encounter a range of distinctive challenges that go beyond those typical of younger divorces:

• Division of Retirement Accounts and Assets: Grey divorces often involve significant retirement holdings – such as 401(k)s, IRAs, pensions, and Social Security benefits – that must be divided carefully. For ERISA-covered accounts like 401(k)s or pensions, a Qualified Domestic Relations Order (QDRO) is legally required to allocate benefits fairly to an ex-spouse.
• Health Insurance and Medical Costs: One of the most immediate concerns for people divorcing later in life is the potential loss of health insurance coverage. Those who rely on their spouse’s employer-sponsored health insurance may lose access to that coverage once the divorce is finalized. 
• Reevaluating Estate Planning: Post-divorce, estate planning often requires a complete revision. Beneficiary designations on IRAs, retirement accounts, insurance policies, and bank accounts should be updated. Powers of attorney, wills, and healthcare proxies must also be adjusted to remove ex‑spouses and designate new trusted confidantes.
• Emotional Impact: Grey divorce frequently triggers profound emotional and psychological stress. After decades of partnership, individuals may experience grief, identity loss, and ambiguous loneliness – even while both partners are still alive and perhaps in proximity.
• Potential Impact on Adult Children: Even later in life, couples navigating divorce may remain responsible for alimony and child support, and these obligations don’t always cease when children become adults. They may also experience emotional fallout from disrupted holiday traditions or family gatherings.
• Lifestyle Adjustments Post-Divorce: Divorce often forces major lifestyle recalibrations – especially when individuals move from a shared home into smaller residences, rentals, or move in with adult children. Emotional transitions include losing routine social interaction, support in daily tasks, and the established domestic structure, compounded by societal expectations of older adults living alone.

The Importance of Seeking Out Professional Legal Advice for Your Divorce

Seeking professional legal advice during a divorce is essential for navigating complex issues and protecting your future well-being. An experienced divorce attorney provides guidance on state-specific laws related to property division, spousal support, retirement plans, and Social Security benefits – each of which carries significant long-term financial implications. For older couples with substantial assets or health insurance tied to marital status, an attorney’s experience can be invaluable for securing fair settlements, particularly in areas like asset valuation, retirement account division via QDROs, and alimony arrangements tailored to age and health considerations.

How Smith Debnam Can Help

At Smith Debnam, our family law team brings extensive experience and empathy to guide individuals through the emotional and financial complexities of later-life separation. We recognize that grey divorce often comes with heightened concerns – from dividing decades of shared retirement assets to safeguarding health benefits and long-term financial stability. Our attorneys work closely with you to develop a clear and compassionate strategy tailored to your unique needs, helping you achieve a resolution that preserves your financial security and supports your well-being into the next chapter of your life.