Social Media Dos and Don’ts During Divorce: Protecting Yourself Online

Divorce is stressful enough without adding social media to the mix, but in today’s digital world, the reality is that what you post online can significantly impact the outcome of your case. Photos, comments, posts, videos, and even “likes” can be used as evidence against you in divorce proceedings, including disputes over child custody, alimony, and property division.

Even if your accounts are private, nothing online is ever truly hidden. A single screenshot can become a powerful tool for or against you. That’s why understanding the dos and don’ts of social media during divorce is essential for protecting yourself, your reputation, and your future.

Why Social Media Matters During Divorce

In modern divorce cases, social media plays a larger role than most people realize.

• Posts can become evidence. Anything you share, whether it be pictures, posts, or comments, can potentially be introduced in court.
• Others are watching. Spouses, attorneys, and even your mutual friends may monitor your activity, looking for information that could be used against you.
• Your online presence extends beyond just you. Even posts from your friends or family can affect your case if they tag you or mention you. Make sure to stay vigilant not only in watching what you post, but also in monitoring what you’re tagged in as well.

Being intentional and cautious with your social media use can help you avoid harm to your case.

The Dos: What you SHOULD do on social media during divorce

You may hear recommendations to unplug completely during divorce. While this is an option, you don’t necessarily have to go totally silent online. There are other best practices you can use to protect yourself:

• Adjust your privacy settings. Limit who can see your posts, photos, and tags. However, remember that privacy settings are not always foolproof. Anything you share can still be screenshotted, screen-recorded, or forwarded to others who you may not intend to view your content.
• Be mindful of connecting with your spouse. Consider unfollowing or muting your spouse, and restricting your spouse’s access to your posts, especially if emotions are high. This can reduce unnecessary tension and prevent impulsive interactions.
• Pause before posting. Before you share anything, ask yourself whether the post could be misinterpreted or whether it could be used against you. If you have any doubt as to either of these two questions, don’t post.
• Document misconduct cautiously. If you see your spouse engaging in harmful behavior online, don’t engage with them publicly. Instead, quietly document it by taking screenshots and sharing them with your attorney instead.
• Consult your attorney. Before posting about any significant life changes, such as a move or a new job, consult with your attorney. Your attorney can advise you on whether it is safe to share online.
• Stay neutral and respectful. Always maintain a professional and respectful tone. Avoid any sarcasm, passive-aggressive comments, or heated exchanges. Remember that anything you post can be introduced in court.
• Encourage family and friends to be mindful. Ask your loved ones not to post about your divorce because even well-intentioned posts can be misconstrued.
• Review your past social media activity. Take the time to review your accounts and revisit old posts, photos, and comments. If you find anything potentially damaging, do not delete it. Instead, mention it to your attorney.

The Don’ts: What you should AVOID on social media during divorce

Certain social media behaviors can significantly damage your credibility and potentially harm your case. Avoid these common mistakes:

• Don’t post about your divorce. Sharing details can backfire.
• Don’t speak negatively about your spouse. Keep any venting offline. Ensure your online presence is professional and courteous, particularly in a custody dispute.
• Don’t flaunt a lavish lifestyle. Posting about any expensive purchases, vacations, or nights out can create complications if financial matters like alimony or property division are still unresolved in your case.
• Don’t start or publicize a new relationship. Posting about a new partner too soon can raise questions about your judgment and your priorities.
• Don’t share anything that could be misconstrued. Even photos that you thought were innocent, or jokes that you didn’t mean in a negative way, can be twisted and used against you in court. For example, a photo of you at a party can be used to suggest irresponsibility, even if you weren’t drinking.
• Don’t delete or destroy relevant posts. Once your case begins, deleting posts can be viewed as the destruction of evidence. Always consult your attorney about any items you believe should be removed from your account.
• Don’t rely solely on privacy settings. Even with strict privacy settings, your posts are never truly private. There are several avenues for your content to be introduced in court, including through mutual friends and screenshots.

Divorce is challenging, and unfortunately, social media can make it even more complicated, especially if you aren’t careful. The safest rule of thumb is simple: when in doubt, don’t post. At Smith Debnam, our family law team brings extensive experience and empathy, and can help you navigate the intricacies of divorce in the social media age.